So when I realized I was no doormat and became a feminist, waayyy back 7 years ago after a matatu tout touched me inappropriately and I smacked his ugly face, I logged into my Facebook. It was the next logical thing to do because literally nobody around me related to me being feminist. When I told a girlfriend being mistreated by her boyfriend to dump his stupid ass and walk the fuck away, all I got was that I probably wanted that dumb ass nigga for myself.
When I told men off for disrespecting me, I got called to the side by girls grossly brainwashed by patriarchy and who then informed me with an air of importance that I really shouldn’t talk to men like that.
Hell, at home I was expected to get married by 30, never mind that I was just 19 at the time and being constantly reminded that I better have marriage in mind. One day I’ll tell y’all how I’ve never fantasized about my wedding, or my wedding dress and how everyone was dramatic about it and telling me how weird it was that I wasn’t aspiring for marriage. Everyone was like,
With my whole body sizzling with my new-found freedom, I logged into Facebook. I was looking for a community. Of feminists of course!
I liked page after page after page of feminist proportions. Varying in information, in appearance, in commitment and in feedback.
Covering up is a choice and Muslims REALLY don’t need this white saviour bullshit
I kid you not though people. These pages had a certain air that I didn’t relate with. ALL were run by white women who posted shit I tried hard to contextualize and relate with but failed miserably. But I still supported despite knowing shit about what I was supporting.
Republicans this and that. Leftist this and that. Health care this and that. Women too can be funny. More acting lead roles for women.
I realized that these pages wanted freedom for WHITE women not my raggedy black ass all the way in Kenya, which they called Africa. Shit, I realized I didn’t belong after all. I hunted for more pages. Black Feminism pages. I only got the Shade Room which was largely for black celebrities and really not about feminism. It empowered me all the same. I understood black people’s struggles. I stumbled onto Kinfolk Kollektive. It revolutionized the hell out of me. I learnt a lot of shit about the fragility of white people and how they are always rushing to inject white logic in spaces for black people.
But here’s the catch ladies. I STILL didn’t relate.
If KK posted something about black women needing lead actor roles, I’d be like Yay sis, y’all better represent! I was fighting for black people in America. Shit I’d never even experienced racism in virtually ALL of my life except one time at Java in Kenya a waitress moved to serve a white man when I’d arrived and ordered first and I checked the hell out of that waitress and asked her to please not start that shit in Africa and the white man laughed and asked for my number and I said
In a bid to understand my position as a black person in a white people’s Feminist page better, I wrote an inquiry to one of the white people pages and got told that they couldn’t talk about that subject because they didn’t relate.
But I got it. Really. I got this too.
There was a whole WORLD of white feminism out there and my black ass had tried to fit in.
But IDEA community, in true white fashion I was told basically told,
So then, why in fuckity fuck was I out here talking about something I didn’t resonate with? WHO the fuck was speaking on my behalf? On behalf of Kenyan women? On behalf of women in Africa? Fucking nobody. Feminism comes with a lot of realizations as I have just realized. For that day, sitting infront of my computer staring at that message from one of the Feminist pages that I’d grown to love because of ignorance, I realized that nobody gave a shit about African women in Africa. Everyone gave two shits for Black women in America and majority of shits were allocated to white women the world over. Ladies and gentlemen, there was a hierarchy. And African women were at the fucking bottom.
Armed with that sad realization, I transformed my Facebook into a war zone. Fighting for Kenyan women, Sudanese women, Somalian women, Egyptian women, Ugandan women, South African women, Congolese women, Algerian women, AFRICAN women.
I gave a million shits about these women. I was done supporting a white woman’s right to wear shorts while African women didn’t even have food or water or basic education. Fuck that.
I can already hear white people saying it’s not their fault Africa’s narrative is one of poverty and other shit, bihhh nobody asked you, just like your Republican ancestors didn’t ask Africa if she wanted to be colonized goddamn it!
When you talk to white people about colonialism and slavery they always be like this,
I can now hear that annoying sing song voice of white women saying our struggles are different. Damn right they are! I’ve got to fight for my right to dignity so I don’t get stripped at a bus station and not worry about posting shit like this and get no repercussions!
OR join a white women clique and call it “GIRL SQUAD”
I can hear the loud indignation of black Americans saying I’m trivializing their experiences. Ain’t nobody doing that bih. When you’ve cast an AFRICAN woman as lead actress in that AFRICAN based movie shot in AFRICA (Read Paramount Studios) we can talk. When you stop calling African culture YOUR culture we can talk.
When you stop acting like you are more African than Africans living in freaking Africa we can talk.
Y’all are out here saying you want to get in touch with your roots by traveling to Africa and posting pictures of how your “motherland” is beautiful and shit. I ain’t never seen a black American etc loving Africa except when it benefits them or makes them look good. I only see y’all benefiting from African culture without recognizing our struggles and difficulties!