Shopping for sex toys, eh?

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If I am not former me’s wildest, most scandalous dream. I think had it not been for feminism I was meant to be the girl who always coloured in the lines but yet here I am, a sexy 20 something homoflexible pleasurist comparing leather handcuff prices (while listening to No Guidance) you got it girl.

My new lover wants to try aspects of bondage, the other prospective one wants to explore pain but isn’t quite ready yet. I do hope they will be soon.  Looking at my life now, I am both surprised and in certain moments I feel it was inevitable that I landed here. Using my fierce energy to explore my own sexual pleasure and encourage other women to do so as well. It’s no coincidence that lesbian women (like myself) have way more orgasms than their straight sisters. The reasons for these are a layered matrix of the role of patriarchy, societal shame attached to the female body and other details such us the division of unpaid care work in the home.

And indeed many of my straight female friends express extreme dissatisfaction with their sex lives and the level of effort put in by their partners. The solution to this has never been simpler, take control of your pleasure. For me this will be an ongoing theme here. How women interact with their bodies, pleasure, sex and body autonomy.

Pleasure and sex also are key pillars within the feminist discussion but even then we are shamed into keeping quiet about it. Not any more, resources like Sylvia Tamale’s work, OMGYes and the great efforts of women like Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah and not forgetting HolaAfrica have come to liberate us.

It’s going to be a wet and fast ride. Hold on!

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