The feminist sexual revolution is in full gear and has no apologies to make. As Pride month winds down (but Pride never steps down) I finally have the time and have been doing the practice 😉 and reading (insert plug for OMGYES) to write about one of the great bedroom techniques I have found works with almost all women.
I am a pleasurist and a lover of all things female and yes, sex. My writing centres around the pleasure of women and people who have vulvas. And one of the major pillars to pleasing a woman is using the tease.
The art of the tease is pretty much a whole couple of chapters that run from using a feather on the sides of the tummy to what we’ll touch on today, hinting the clit and vulvar teasing.
Especially for heterosexual women, the term “foreplay” is something I find problematic because it often seems to relegate the actions of it to a less important tier within the sexual experience when the truth is quite different. The more we see sex as all encompassing, a total experience that involves all the senses, smell, touch, ambience, taste, hearing, seeing, tasting and the most important erotic organ, the mind, the more satisfying our intimate lives will be. Clit hinting and vulvar teasing is a great build up act to cunnilingus and indeed manual stimulation of the vulva too.
This often involves ever so light touches and creating light sensations around the vulva and clitoris that ignite anticipation and heighten the eventual experience. Ask around, teasing and hinting amplifies and enriches orgasms. This technique is especially useful for first but even more so for subsequent orgasms because of how it focuses on gentle touch which is often what works when the clitoris is so sensitive post-orgasm.
There’s a lot of ground to cover but one of the things I love to do is, while laying beside her and getting hot and heavy, I will not only speak to my girl and tell her how beautiful she is but do that as I draw circles with my finger on her inner thigh, then up towards her vulva and at this point I use my index, middle and ring finger to ever so slightly move up from her fourchette up towards her clit and ending at the top where the labia majora meet. This action starts of with very little pressure and never really touching the clit, just barely brushing on top of it or on top of the lips covering it. Over time her clitoris will begin to swell and peek out and this is not our signal to stop. The key to teasing is really doing it till your partner is weak at the knees.
For a lot of women this is a great way to amplify the sexual experience and if you have been looking for things to try in the bedroom, you’re welcome.
In next week’s piece I’ll specifically dive into other techniques of clit hinting but for now, the triple finger train as I call it is your piece of homework. Something to try with your partner, partners or alone.
Have at it xoxo